Angry with your teens
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Last week I was talking with a Mum who was very worried about her teenager and her anger. This teen was 14 and would scream and rage when told to turn off screens or that she wasn't allowed to go out and see her friends. Her anger was scary - so much so that this Mum asked me "Does she has schizophrenia? Even teens who look like butter would not melt in their mouth while out in public, can get scarily angry at home. First, understand that feeling extremely angry is often a very distressing experience for teenagers. They feel out of control and a desperate desire to get control back. If we had their brains hooked up to monitoring machines we would see real changes - part of their brain is telling them they are being attacked by a tiger and they want to fight back.
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Do you feel like your adolescent surrounds himself or herself with a force field of anger and hostility? Well adjusted kids and adults get angry but can manage their anger when it arises. In contrast, hostility is an attitude of defensiveness and waiting for an attack.
Teens often get frustrated through the course of the day or week. While teen anger is often normal and just part of growing up, sometimes it can indicate a larger problem which requires professional help. As teens grow and mature, they naturally want less parental input. This means that they are likely to rebuff your advice, sometimes in the form of a verbal outburst or a slammed door.